Making sh#t happen for you in 2020.

Welcome to 2020.

As most people do at the beginning of a new year (and new decade), I have taken some time out over the last few days to reflect on the year that was and reset my intentions for the year ahead.

My process for this over the past few years has been to sit down and write a list of things big and small that I want to accomplish in the next 12 months. However inevitably somewhere around March that list seems to disappear out of sight and out of mind. The exercise certainly hasn’t been a waste of time - but I came into this year wanting to try something different.

ENTER JAMES CLEAR AND ATOMIC HABITS

Late last year, the Group CEO of my company gave me a book - ‘Atomic Habits’ by James Clear. I find it hard to get through a book these days - but for me, this one is different. It’s highly relevant, practical and just seems to resonate with the way I operate.

In the book, Clear talks about focussing less on goals, and more on systems. A statement that fascinated me was: “Winners and losers both have the same goals.” An example being that every elite sports team sets out with the same goal - to win - but it’s the one with the best culture, preparation, training and system that tends to outperform the others. He goes on to say “The purpose of setting goals is to win the game. The purpose of building systems is to continue playing the game. True long-term thinking is goal-less thinking. It’s not about any single accomplishment. It is about the cycle of endless refinement and continuous improvement. Ultimately, it is your commitment to the process that will determine your progress.”

So my thinking heading into 2020 was - how do I go about building the best system - and not worry as much about a finite list of goals.

SIMON SINEK’S GOLDEN CIRCLE

Simon Sinek’s now infamous TED talk ‘How Great Leaders Inspire Action’ introduced the world to the Golden Circle - a simple process that explains the importance of knowing WHY, before HOW and WHAT. In the talk he argues that there are “two ways to influence human behaviour: you can manipulate it or you can inspire it.” The Golden Circle articulates a system has been used by leading individuals and organisations around the world to inspire performance.

I felt the Golden Circle would be a useful framework for my 2020 system. A system designed to create a real sense of clarity and focus, and identify habits and actions that align.

Below I’ve shared my 2020 system, and the process I used to nut it out. Feel free to take it and play with it, or leave it. Regardless - welcome to 2020 - go make it your best year yet.

MY 2020 SYSTEM - AND THE PROCESS TO BUILD YOURS

Step 1: Start with WHY.

For me - the back end 2019 was really intense and I became overwhelmed with the volume of things on my plate and the lack of time to achieve them. I developed a stress twitch in my eye and noticed a reduction in my quality of sleep - definitely a sign I wasn’t managing well enough.

Step 2: HOW.

Try and bring it down to a single word or concept - ‘Productivity’ is what I decided on

Step 3: WHAT.

Identify what measurable actions, behaviours and habits you are prepared to commit to that align to your HOW. You can have as few, or as many of these as you can. You can add to the list as you go. I’ve already added a couple since photographing the handwritten version above.

** note: if you are looking for a great read - Atomic Habits by James Clear is available in hard copy, as an ebook or audio book - I highly recommend it!

Running your own race - life lessons from a half marathon

I find something really liberating about running.

I think it’s the surge of endorphins… and access to a clarity of thought that can sometimes be hard to find in a busy, highly stimulated life. I also like the idea that I can take myself anywhere that I want to go with my own two legs… a form of pure independence.   

Furthermore, for me, running well is an indication that my health and fitness are in a good space – so it’s a great feedback mechanism.  I am definitely not the kind of person that is built to run so running fast, or long, is reward for effort.

Yesterday as I soaked my weary muscles in the bath, after completing the Noosa Half Marathon in 1:59.45 (15 seconds quicker than my 2 hour goal), I realised I had learned a lot from the process… and was keen to share some of the lessons with you to have a play with.

RUN YOUR OWN RACE

One of the things I loved most about the weekend was seeing people from all walks of life having a crack.  There were first timers, marathon veterans and everything in between.  As I looked around I was struck by the vast array of ages, shapes and sizes on the course. It was a real indicator that ‘fit’ isn’t necessarily what gyms, magazines and Instagram accounts make it out to be.  The one thread that brought pretty much everyone together though was the look of pride, relief and satisfaction as they crossed the finish line.  It was evident that for most, completing an endurance event was not about ‘winning’ –  rather striving for a personal best. 

I feel there is an unhealthy focus on competing woven through our society.  For some it can be motivating, but for many it is toxic and debilitating.  I believe that ultimately, life shouldn’t be viewed as a competition.  We all have different wants and desires, all come with different levels of ability and experience, and all face different circumstances.  When we stop worrying about the ‘competition’ and shift our focus inwards the journey becomes far less stressful, and more rewarding.  Make success personal – define it for yourself, rather than accepting a definition authored by someone else.

WHERE YOU ARE AND WHERE YOU WANT TO BE ARE SEPARATED BY ACTION AND DISCIPLINE.

Late last year my fitness coach Sean asked me to run around the block near his gym - roughly a 1km loop.  It wasn’t particularly enjoyable, and I am fairly certain I had to stop and walk a couple of times.  Back then, the idea of completing a half marathon was completely absurd.  Between my first run and the Noosa Half Marathon I clocked up hundreds of kilometres.  I spent time with Sean training specific exercises to build cardio fitness, and strength and endurance in my legs.  I purchased new running shoes and a fitness watch. I mapped running days in my calendar, and made sure I stuck to them – even when I didn’t feel like it.  It was these collective actions that enabled me to run 21km on the weekend.  If you want something, the only way to get it is to take action. Figure out what you need to do, and do it (even when sometimes you don’t feel like it).

THERE WILL BE SETBACKS – EMBRACE THEM AND ADAPT.

A few weeks ago, some friends invited me to donate blood at The Red Cross.   After going through a major surgery myself in 2005, it’s always been something I have wanted to do.   I hadn’t really considered the impact it would have on my energy levels and training program.  I pretty much had to stop running for two weeks which was not ideal in the final stages of a half marathon prep.  It would have been easy to throw in the towel.  

I have learned that when faced with any kind of setback, focus and adaptability are incredibly important.  Where we choose to focus our attention and energy is generally what manifests. Focus on the problem, and we become frustrated and disheartened.  Focus on finding solutions and we can often navigate our way around the obstacles.  I saw my GP, started taking an iron supplement, altered my diet and substituted long runs for shorter, faster ones.  This series of small adaptations through a tricky couple of weeks enabled me to maintain momentum and ultimately still achieve my goal on the weekend.  Setbacks are inevitable – try to remain solution focussed, and be prepared to adapt your approach when you feel the old way is no longer working.

EXPERIENCE IS A POWERFUL TEACHER

Saturday was the culmination of around 3 months of training.  Each time I ran I felt I got fitter, smarter and more confident.  It also helped being coached by someone with a lot more knowledge and experience with distance running than I do. Sean’s mentorship, and the hours of practice enabled me to build confidence and take on the challenge with a solid and well structured plan of attack.

My final training session was an 18km ‘race pace’ run, 1 week out from the event. Throughout the run my cardio fitness felt great, but at about the 15km mark my hips and knees started to seize, and my pace slowed dramatically.  The insights my training gave me became incredibly important as I planned out my 21.1km.  I knew it was important for me to get a good start and build a buffer that would allow for a slower finish, but still let me sneak in under 2 hours.  Most of the advice I read had suggested consistency was key, but my experience allowed me to override that approach and go with something that worked better for my body. There is no one-size-fits-all approach and no one becomes great at something overnight.  Personal mastery comes from thousands of hours of intentional practice, reflection and refinement.   

I once considered 21.1km in under 2 hours a far fetched idea… and now it’s my new benchmark.  Life is about constantly redefining our possible and chasing things that bring joy and meaning to our lives.  So get out there, set your sights on something, put in the work and enjoy the journey and wherever it takes you. 

The value of feeling small – inspired by mountains and waterfalls

We seem to have come to the conclusion, in the part of the world that I inhabit… that bigger is better.  We crave importance… and we link importance to big things. Big Money. A big house. A big car. A big job / title.  Big awards. A big following. Big likes.  It’s all about big.   There’s no doubt that at times I have bought into this misguided philosophy, and it’s influenced my thoughts and actions.  But the last couple of days have been a stark reminder for me, that it is really (really) important and valuable to feel small.   

I am writing this from a bus, traveling across the South Island of New Zealand.  I have spent the last couple of days in some of the most epic and majestic landscapes imaginable – thick forests, raging rivers, giant glaciers and towering snow-capped mountains.  There have been so many moments I have looked around and been literally speechless.  In these immense environments I have felt totally engulfed by the magnitude, beauty and vast nature of the world we live in… and it’s made me realise just how small and insignificant I, and everything in my life really is.

I’m going to issue everyone reading this a challenge. 

I want you to prioritise getting yourself outdoors. And when I say outdoors, I don’t mean your backyard or local park (don’t get me wrong, they are great) – I am talking about taking a journey into wilderness.  Somewhere that makes you feel totally immersed in nature.  Somewhere that you could get lost.  It’s not just about breathing the clean air or tuning in to the intricate natural symphony happening around you – it’s about the clarity and scale of thinking, and the rich perspective that emanates from becoming small.

I have always really loved the people here in New Zealand – I would almost describe it as a spiritual connection. There is something very special about them… a sense of depth, humility and richness of character I sometimes feel is lacking at home.  Today, I felt as if it finally clicked.  Today, I learned the word ‘whenau’ in Te reo Maori has two meanings: ‘land’ and ‘the placenta’. This dual definition stems from the belief that we all come from the land, and eventually return to the land – and represents the sacred connection Maori people have to the land and the sea.

I believe that coming from, and being spiritually intertwined with, such vast and epic landscapes has enabled the people here to develop such a unique and profound perspective to their place on this earth. They speak more softly, tread more lightly, take a bit less and share a bit more because of it. They recognise that their world is more than just them – and it is the role they play in creating balance and harmony that is so important. It’s probably why New Zealand punches above it’s weight in so many arenas, and why so many innovative ideas and creations have come from this country.  Every time I have stopped and looked around over the last couple of days I have felt small, insignificant and somewhat powerless in respect to my surroundings.  It has been strangely liberating and inspiring. 

To some, the idea of insignificance may be a little challenging…. the idea that in the scheme of things our individual actions don’t actually mean a great deal.  But I firmly believe it.  It should not discourage us from doing great things but instead remind us that the world we live in is so much more than just us –  and that understanding this is the key to having serious impact. 

So what’s the value in feeling small?

1. When we feel small so do our problems and grievances.  When we make ourselves the centre of our own universe, everything in our life seems big and overwhelming.   When we zoom out and examine the wider surrounds, we see things from a different perspective… which often dials down the pressure and anxiety a little bit. Everyone is going through stuff… it’s just life.

2. It reminds us that our greatest power comes as a collective.  Recognising that acting alone may hold little significance reminds us of the value of connection and the immense impact we create when sharing our talent, energy and love with others.  I firmly believe humanity is at its most powerful when united towards common vision.

3. It makes us more grateful and appreciative of other small things.  When we allow ourselves to become small, we tend to notice other small things more.  When we find joy in small things, happiness (and life) becomes simpler.

4. The scale of our surrounds dictates the scale of our thinking.  When we make ourselves big we limit our capacity to grow.  By being small we become inspired by the magnitude of the things around us. It challenges us to dream bigger and forces us to be more creative and resourceful.

5. It reminds us that we are the narrator of our own story.  We decide the significance we place on things.  When everything becomes ‘insignificant’ we grant ourselves the greatest freedom – an understanding that we ultimately decide the meaning of everything that happens to us.  We are the narrator of our own existence.  We can ultimately choose whether ‘things’ that happen affect us in a positive or negative way. We dictate how we feel.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t allow ourselves to feel big every now and then.  It’s nice to puff our chest out and recognise the significance of who we are and what we do.  I’ve spent most of my adult life being ‘important’. The guy on stage… the CEO… the guy on top of a mountain. I am really proud of all of those things and I’ve valued the recognition that has come with them.  Ultimately though no matter how big I believe I may have become, the last 48 hours has reminded me that I am tiny… and in the scheme of this incredible vast, beautiful and extraordinary world we live in… always will be.  And that’s exciting.

So much to learn.  So much to discover. So much to experience. So little to worry about.

Get outdoors. Play with it.

When humble met ego... an unlikely romance

Yesterday I had lunch with someone I’ve admired for a long time – he was a quiet architect and key driver in one of Australia’s most incredible social enterprise stories.  However sitting at a café in East Doncaster… he wasn’t wearing the hat of the entrepreneur that took on big corporate and changed the game, or the revolutionary change maker to whom many people in the developing world owe a great deal… he was just Jarryd.  

We were chatting about the immense influence that leadership has on culture… in sport, business, politics and just life in general.  The fact that great leaders unite people, inspire them to achieve the seemingly impossible, and keep them moving forwards through the toughest of times. And that the absence of, or poor leadership, can have the opposite effect.

We arrived at a point in our conversation that explored what sets great leaders apart.  What made people WANT to follow them, rather than feeling like they had to.  We agreed that it is hard to characterise leadership to a particular style… or personality type… but there are definitely some obvious common threads.

One of the most prominent and perhaps challenging, is the delicate balance between ego and humility.  In a nutshell – the ability for a leader to have unshakable confidence in one’s self, one’s vision and one’s abilities…  but at the same time to position themselves amongst the people and remain ‘human’, relatable, present and real.  It’s being able to walk into a room and treat everyone else with the upmost significance and importance, whilst holding your own space with confidence and conviction.

To put it into pictures - It’s Obama walking through The White House fist pumping a janitor.  It’s Usain Bolt stopping mid interview to respect the national anthem of a fellow athlete. It’s Prince Harry breaking protocol to hug the kid. It’s Jacinda Ardern paying for a mother’s groceries at the supermarket because she’d left her purse in the car.  These strong, powerful, high profile characters all demonstrate genuine humility and humanity.   I think it’s one of their greatest assets – it’s why these now iconic images once filled our social media feeds.  It’s why we respect and revere them. 

Humility is powerful… it builds the bridge between ‘us and them’ and fosters authentic connection.  It fuels growth and enables us to learn from our ‘mistakes’.  It shifts the emphasis of success away from an individual and delivers shared recognition – which in turns builds incredible culture and loyal following.

I think the important thing to distinguish here though is that to these leaders, humility does not come at the expense of ego – that they coexist.  They are a beautiful romance that when coupled with situational awareness and good decision making form a formidable combination.

Leadership is often challenging and isolating.  Leaders frequently deal with volatile, complex, high-stakes situations where a single moment of insecurity or lapse in conviction could cost them in a big way.  Imagine what went through Usain Bolt’s mind as he stepped up to the starting blocks – or through Obama’s mind as faced a hostile senate with his social reform Agenda. I think it would have gone something like “Just remember – you’re the man. Back yourself.”

Alongside their abundance of humility, these leaders have an undeniable ego.

Ego, when channelled positively, is incredibly powerful.  It can give you a layer of armour… help you face up to your fears… convince yourself you are capable of the impossible... be the springs that bounce you back from adversity… the secret power that keeps you pushing towards your vision when everyone else has lost faith…  give you permission to walk away from people or things that may not be in your best interest.

So – the challenge is to understand your ego, and form a healthy relationship with it.  To know how and when to ‘turn it up’ to the max, but also recognise when to switch it onto standby and approach a person or situation with humility.

FINDING THE HUMBLE EGO BALANCE.

Here are a five simple things to consider and play that can help you find the balance between humility and ego.

1. Make yourself your only real competition.  It can be easy to get caught up in competing and comparing with your peers and colleagues, and constantly wanting to one-up them.  If you find yourself in this trap try shifting your focus and making your previous performance your major benchmark. Check in with yourself frequently and recognise your progress, then focus on the next step. 

2. Focus on what makes you feel good, not just what makes you look good. When you are making decisions about what you are going to invest your time, energy or money in, think about what’s important to you and the impact it will have on your satisfaction and wellbeing… rather than how you think others will perceive it.

3. Let others talk about your achievements for you.  Be proud of your success, and share it with your important people.  Don’t feel like you need to broadcast it to the world all the time (every now and then is OK).  Have faith that when you are doing awesome stuff people will talk about it on your behalf, and when they do… be gracious and say thank you.

4. Dilute the need to prove yourself to others.  Stop saying things you think will impress people.  Stop doing things for their validation. Stop dropping names. Stop feeling like you need to have something to say all the time. Be authentic. Be real.

5. Replace the word I with we or us when talking about success.  A wise mentor once told me to ‘take all of the responsibility, but share all of the credit’.  Modern leaders need to focus on creating positive team culture, centred around empowerment and recognition.

Kindness – the ‘secret sauce’

A few years ago I got hooked on a Netflix series ‘Derek’ (if you haven’t watched it – do yourself a favour).  Written by and starring comedian Ricky Gervais, the show takes you into the lives of Derek and the staff at Broad Hill Nursing Home as they work together to build a loving, inclusive space for all that walk through their doors.  The series is funny, emotional and thought provoking. It is Gervais’ brilliant way of pleading with the world to be more kind to one another.  And isn’t the world in desperate need of that right now.

For many years I have been taking people to Tanzania in East Africa.  Whilst we are there we spend some time with the local community in Moshi, and give whatever we can to help.  It’s amazing the mutual joy the experience brings.  A few years ago, I was invited to my friend Nelson’s wedding, and made the journey to Tanzania on my own in the middle of wet season.  One morning, I walked into town to grab a coffee and stepped in a puddle of thick mud.  As I went to step out of the puddle,  the strap on one of the Havianas I was wearing broke and I was left barefoot… standing on a dirt road…in the rain… a few kms from my hotel. 

 As I stood there and contemplated what to do, a lady approached me from a local market.  She couldn’t speak much English, but showed me to a small area of shelter and gestured to me to wait as she took my broken Haviana and walked back into the market.  A few minutes later she came back with a brand new set of thongs in her hands... and they were my size! She handed them to me, bowed her head, and said thank you for helping her son’s school for so many years.  I offered her some money but she wouldn’t accept it.  We both walked away with huge smiles on our faces.  I will never forget that interaction – it is part of me now and influences every other interaction I have.

Given the events of the last couple of weeks I feel kindness is something we should be talking about.  At times the world seems to be rapidly becoming more hostile and self-absorbed; and human interactions less personal, less forgiving and more transactional.  It’s almost like kindness and compassion are now seen as excess baggage as individuals go on a journey to push their own agenda. There seems to be a notion that kindness is of lesser value than wealth, intelligence, talent or power/status.  This is something I strongly disagree with.

Think about it…. we are living through a time where wealth, intelligence, talent and power/status are present in abundance… yet there is more discord, disunity, isolation and conflict within our society. We need to adjust our approach.  Here are a few of my thoughts:

Kindness and Strength aren’t mutually exclusive.

On Friday 15 March 2019 a man walked into a Mosque in Christchurch, New Zealand and massacred 50 innocent human beings going about their prayer rituals.  It was an unthinkable and horrific act of violence, and a tragic and unnecessary loss of life.   Yet amongst the midst of the tragedy and despair, New Zealand’s Prime Minister took the world by surprise.  She responded with a different tone and dialogue to the hard line we have become all too accustomed to.  She demonstrated a level of genuine empathy and compassion that I cannot recall having seen in political leadership for some time.  Her actions and her language were strong, defiant… and kind.  Jacinda Ardern has showed the world that kindness and strength are not mutually exclusive; they can be tightly intertwined and used to generate immense power.  Her people and many citizens of the world responded to her leadership; and the community and global response to the tragedy was something extraordinary

The ‘secret sauce’

I want you to think of the last time you were kind to someone.   Think about how they responded and how it made them feel.  Now think about how you felt… take yourself to that emotional space.  If you are like me there will be positive energy buzzing through your body right now.  You see… kindness has this amazing dual impact – it does something awesome for someone else, while making you feel great at the same time.

I believe kindness is the ‘secret sauce’.  It hides at the core of everything remarkable people and leaders do… and we often don’t quite know how to define it. It is a foundation from which they speak and act.  It doesn’t necessarily cost any money.  It’s universal and knows no barriers when it comes to race, religion, language or level of ability.  The best part is that as it is shared it tends to grow.   

Kindness can be delivered in lots of ways.  Sometimes, it can be as simple as a smile. It is about seeking to understand, rather than to judge.  It is about choosing language carefully, and communicating with empathy.  It is acknowledging people with a please, thank you or hello.  It is listening compassionately.  It is recognising not only successes, but the efforts of others.   It is delivering feed forward, instead of feedback. It is going out of your way for someone.  It is using what you have, if someone else is without. It is swallowing ego and putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. 

Turning up the kindness factor

Throughout my work I have experienced first-hand the impact that kindness has on organisations and individuals.  I have come to understand that we can ‘turn up’ the kindness factor through our own actions, and by embedding rituals deep within our education and development programs that give people the opportunity to practice kindness, empathy and compassion.  In my view, it should be mandatory for every single leader (be it in a family, school, community or corporate context) to be developed and measured by a kindness quotient of sorts.  Strong leadership is the key to building a kindness culture.

So here are a few things you can start playing with, to turn up the kindness factor in your own world:

1. Open your eyes.  Look up. Look around.  Start seeking daily opportunities to practice kindness. Maybe it’s just smiling more, or saying hello.  Maybe it’s going out of your way to offer help to someone.

2. Be intentional.  Set yourself a little target of ‘daily acts of kindness’. They don’t have to be big.  Record them.  The more you repeat them, the more they become habitual.

3. Recognise kindness when you see it in others.   Talk about it. Draw attention to other people being kind.  Share these examples with your friends and family.

4. Consider things from the alternative perspective.  Kindness often stems from a desire to understand.  If someone is acting or behaving in a way that may cause you to be unkind, try talking to them and learning a bit of their story. Get some perspective on why they may be acting that way.  If you can’t talk to them, consider all of the things that may be going on in their life. Give them the benefit of the doubt.

5. Learn to respond, rather than react.  When someone does something that upsets or frustrates you… take a breath before you say or do anything.  Consider the range of responses available.  That couple of minutes may just find a way of neutralising the situation or turning it into positive, rather than escalating it further.

“And she said, 'kindness is magic, Derek.’ It's more important to be kind than clever or good-looking.” – Joan. Derek

A few truths about change

So I’ll begin with a simple thought.  We are always changing, evolving and transforming.  The process never stops – from our first breath to our last.  The easiest way to remind yourself is to dig out some old photos (I did yesterday) and look back at yourself 5…10…15 years ago. Often, the transformation is so subtle and gradual that we barely recognise it’s happening … but we look back one day and realise the immense journey we’ve been on.  Other times it’s big… it sort of punches you in the face… it dramatically changes the course of our life.

The change that simmers away in the background is usually pretty comfortable… I mean, we don’t really even know it’s happening.  It’s just a normal part of the human condition.  But deliberate change… change that we are ultimately driving … that’s hard... and can be absolutely terrifying.  Maybe it’s fixing or leaving a relationship… turning your health around… a career change… getting yourself out of a shitty situation… or something else.  Whilst these changes may be challenging I believe that we must seek and embrace them when necessary, if we want to experience the best of life.

Ultimately, my career has been about facilitating a space in which personal transformation can occur. To help people identify what needs to change, find confidence and equip them with the knowledge and tools to be whoever they really want to be.   It’s been a privilege to go on this journey with people and has made me absolutely certain that we all have the capacity to drive change and transform into whatever we want.

I have lost count of the number of times someone has told me I have ‘changed their life’.  When the words hit my ears, it is truly humbling. I remember initially pulling my shoulders back and puffing my chest out and thinking ‘god, I’m good at this!’.  But I quickly realised that it was all bullshit. 

You see… personal transformation is hard… and it’s deeply personal.  It takes courage, tenacity and resilience. For me to take any of the credit would be to take all the power away from the person who has just been to the depths of the heart and soul and back to make this epic moment occur. 

So here’s my truth:
No one else can change your life. It’s all on you.

In fact, I’d go as far as to say if someone claims they can ‘change your life’, I would run in the other direction as quickly as possible… because it’s likely they are full of both themselves… and shit.   My experience has taught me the only person that can change your life is YOU.  Don’t get me wrong… having a coach or a mentor to guide you is incredibly powerful – but they won’t change you. 

I have come to realise that there are certain things that usually facilitate personal transformation. They are also applicable to change at a corporate team/organisational level as well. The following steps aren’t necessarily a formula to follow in order, rather conditions that enable and encourage growth and change to occur.

1.     Accept full responsibility.  Change begins with a realisation that it is needed.  It’s about being brutally honest with yourself… it’s about calling your own bullshit when you recognise the excuses starting to formulate in your brain.  Don’t beat yourself up for what got you to this point…  and don’t blame anyone else… just draw a line in the sand and accept responsibility for where you are, where you are going and what you need to do to get there.  Be proud that you’ve made this realisation.  This is often the hardest part.

2.     Know your why… do it for you. Motivation is the fuel that will sustain your energy and will throughout the journey. Spend some time reflecting on what is driving the change.  Write these thoughts down. During this process, you might find you are changing to please someone else… maybe a partner, a friend, family or your competition.  I’m not a big believer in this.  Reframe the core driver of the change to be about you – it doesn’t mean those others won’t also get benefit.

3.     Create a vision.  If you aren’t fully content with where you are… it’s usually because you want to be somewhere else.  It’s really important you articulate this in as much vivid detail as possible.  Create a vision you can get really excited about.  Get it down on paper and make it visible – give yourself a constant reminder of where you are going.

4.     Break big into small.  A big vision can feel really overwhelming…. particularly when you haven’t even started yet.  Break it down.  Think about what you need and start sourcing - it could be people, resources or something else. Create a series of small milestones.  If you love to compete… give yourself targets and aim to beat them.  If competition isn’t your thing, just plot points out (like a map) and tick them off once you arrive.

5.     Prioritise. Momentum is created by energy.  If you really want to make this happen it is going to require some sacrifice... and most likely shuffling of priorities.  The easiest excuse is always ‘not having time’... but it’s usually rubbish.  It just means you haven’t made it a priority.  Make time. Results go where energy flows.

6.     Be Patient. Accumulate. Sustainable change takes time.  Don’t rush… Remember, it’s not a race and you have no competition.  Taking your time with the process will enable the beliefs and behaviours you are rewriting to become entrenched.  Gain as much knowledge, experience and skills as you can along the way. It’s tempting to take shortcuts and get instant gratification – but in the long run it’ll come back to bite you. Take your time.

7.     Reward progress and be kind to yourself.  Make sure you recognise your progress, and give yourself a pat on the back every now and then.  Post your successes on the socials… treat yourself to something… give yourself a little internal high five.  When things aren’t on track, don’t beat yourself up. Reflect, learn from whatever has happened, refocus on your goal and get going again.

8.     Have a support team.  Be honest and vulnerable with people… and share your journey with people that love you.  Change can be a lonely journey if you’re traveling it alone… but having good people around you can motivate you, help you stay on track, and give you a shoulder to lean on when things get tough.   You’re going to have your doubters too – just make sure your supporters drown them out.

9.     Find a great coach.  As I mentioned earlier change can be really confronting. A great coach will make change feel far less volatile… because the right coach will have experience, skills and knowledge that can guide you through the unpredictable territory you find yourself in.  Take your time finding a coach you connect with and respect.  The right coach will walk beside you.  They will ask the tough questions.  They will hold you accountable.  They will help you feel great about the progress you are making together.

We often find ourselves in situations or circumstances that we aren’t fully satisfied with.  In these moments we have two choices: We can sit back, wait and hope for the best… or we can take charge of where we are heading and make things happen. 

CHANGE IS HARD… WHICH MEANS IT’S USUALLY WORTHWHILE

The Three P's of Excellence

I want you to think of a time you’ve experienced excellence…. I am not talking about a time when you said “oh – that was great”… I am talking something that truly blew your mind.  Maybe it was a meal, a fine wine, whiskey, or cocktail.  Or maybe it was driving a car, witnessing a performance, consuming a piece of art or attending an event.  Or perhaps it was enjoying a premium product or service for the very first time.

We remember these moments.  They are highly engaging and emotive experiences.  They are a privilege. We value them, we talk about them and we are often prepared to pay a high price for them.

 I’ll share a couple of recent experiences:

The Whiskey Guy: Last year Ben, my younger brother, came to Brisbane to visit.  He had been chatting to a bloke up here that runs a bottle shop, and shares his passion for rare American whiskey.   It was a bit of a drive to get out there… but that was soon forgotten.  We walked through the doors, introduced ourselves and were invited to join the owner of the shop at a beautiful wooden bar in the corner.  From there, were guided through a taste of four exquisite ‘one of a kind’ whiskeys from his personal collection, beautifully poured in delicate crystal glassware as soothing American blues played in the background.  If the whiskey wasn’t good enough, it was delivered with comprehensive commentary and explanation by someone who really knew his stuff and was eager to share his knowledge.  Needless to say, we both bought something from his shop that day and probably will again.

Hotel Heaven:  Last week I was in Auckland for a wedding. I treated myself to a luxury hotel for a couple of nights.  As soon as I walked through the door I was blown away.  I’ve stayed in a lot of nice hotels… but this was on another level.  The attention and service from every single staff member, the smell in the lobby, the beautiful styling that dressed the floors, walls and ceiling and the pianist tastefully filling the room with music.  Then there was the bed, the furniture, the artwork, the bathroom, the premium amenities… and the view.  But most impressive were the little touches… a free shuttle to the harbour, the fresh fruit bowl, chilled water and cold towels in the gym, a selection of fine NZ chocolate and daily Maori proverb with turn down service, and a night cap menu for a cheeky drink before bed.  I would stay there again in a heartbeat, and I am sure others will on my recommendation.

I could literally give you hundreds of other examples – I live for this stuff.  You see, I believe that your life will become what you fill it with – so I find myself in constant search of excellence and when I find it, try to immerse myself and invest in it.  I believe that at the heart of any successful person, or business is an intentional commitment to excellence.  It is something engrained in their DNA... it is a mantra. It transforms great into exceptional. It pushes performance to the elite level.  It attracts people, and it keeps them coming back.  It inspires others.

But the big question is:
What constitutes excellence, and how do we get it in our own lives? 

It has become a bit of an obsession of mine to study and analyse the excellence I experience around me, and so I want to give my ‘THREE P’ plan that I hope you can take, play with and apply to your life:

P1: Passion.  Excellence is fuelled by passion.  Passion provides an unrivalled energy, an attention to detail and a hunger for growth and improvement.  Passion enables people to accomplish the unimaginable.  You can feel it.  It radiates from within exceptional people, things and experiences. It is captivating, and addictive - when we feel it… we want more.  So, the first step to excellence is to do the things you are the most passionate about… and to recruit the most passionate people to work, play and create with you.

P2: Practice.  Excellence takes time, dedication, commitment and focus.  I remember as a kid reading an article about my hero – David Beckham.  It said that he was never the most naturally gifted athlete, but he was always the one that trained the hardest.  He would spend hours and hours at the park on his technique… and would stay back after training kicking thousands of extra balls… until one day he became the best.  A global superstar, the captain of his country’s football team, and arguably the most effective set piece specialist of all time.  Beckham combined passion and practice… and became a master.

 P3: Precision.  Excellence is an obsession on the fine details.  It is recognising the things that most people miss.  It is making the incredibly complex look beautifully simple, through seamless execution of the ‘little things’.  I remember a conversation I had with a mentor once who said “the difference between 90% and 100% is not one big 10% block… it’s a series of tiny little 1%s and 0.5%s that most people don’t even care about.  I’ve applied that theory to so many of my endeavours and so far it has served me well.  So ‘zoom in’ and start focussing on the little things.

Whatever your personal pursuit of excellence is… be it your health, your study, your career, your relationships, your business, or any of your other endeavours… I challenge you to play with the three Ps…  to constantly refuel your passion and remind yourself of WHY you are doing it; WORK hard, commit to the long game and seek continual growth and improvement; and FOCUS on consistently doing the little things really well.

 Passion + Practice + Precision = Excellence.

Life: three important truths

Ok, so here are a few things we have in common.   

First truth, we are both very (very) lucky.  Science and statistics have never been my strong point, but I watched a TED talk not long ago that suggests the probability of you being born is about one in 400 trillion.  Take a moment to consider that… it’s quite extraordinary.  That fact alone should make at least the next few breaths you take feel a bit more significant.  In Latin class at school I learned the word miracle is derived from miraculum, meaning an ‘object of wonder’. Given these odds, I am pretty confident in saying that you, and I, should be considered miracles. 

Now, I am not one of those people that sticks motivational quotes on their walls or looks at themselves in the mirror every morning and recites affirmations (if that is you – awesome… you keep doing you!), but I do believe it is something worth reminding ourselves of from time to time.  Every second that we are alive is made more significant by the unfathomable odds that we have overcome to be here.

The second truth is that it is absolutely certain that *spoiler alert* we are both going to die. It doesn’t exactly have the same warm and fuzzy feeling that my first point did… but it is an undeniable truth and should serve as a reminder that this miracle existence we are living is only temporary.  For me, that thought places even more value and significance on the seconds and minutes that pass us by.

Now it’s safe to assume that none of us had any control over being here… and it is fairly unlikely we will be able to predict, plan or control when (and how) we go.  So… taking that into consideration, here is the third and most important truth:

We both get to choose how we live. 

Between our first and last breath we embark on this wonderful, rich, unpredictable, complex, mind-blowing journey we call life.    As we navigate the twists and turns, climb to the highest summits and crawl our way out of the deep and dark valleys, I have come to believe that you, I, and everyone else are all ultimately searching for the same things.   Short term… a feeling of comfort and content stemming from the relationship we have with ourselves, the people we hold dear, the community we belong to, and the world around us.  Longer term it’s about purpose – the idea that the 27,000 odd days we will spend on the planet will amount to something.  

We are reminded everyday that this quest can be volatile and at times feel totally overwhelming.  We are sold products and services on the fear of uncertainty and inadequacy. We are lead to believe that love, health, happiness and success are complex and hard… even sometimes unattainable.

I want to challenge this narrative, because that isn’t the truth I have come to know.  I don’t profess to be any kind of guru, but I do think that my circumstances, connections and experiences have given me a perspective worthy of this platform.  I believe life should be simple, yet rich and abundant.  Every now and then I will share something designed to challenge you, empower you, or at the very least raise a bit of curiosity . Take it (or don’t) and play with it…. and then make it your own.  After all it’s your life – you’re the one that has to live it.